Movement

This is a gem of a quote that I found in Spiritual Leadership by J. Oswald Sanders. (I keep saying who it's by so you will read it!)

"There are only three kinds of people - those who are immovable, those who are movable, and those who move them!"
- Li Hung Chang

What kind of person are you? For real, think about it!

Day 4 - The Sequel

Where was I? Ah yes, in tears. So as I was laying there in my bed with tears streaming down my face muttering “I can’t do this, I can’t do this” (by the way I learned that when we cry we always latch onto one phrase and say it over and over such as “I did my best” or “I can’t do this” – thanks for educating me Dane!)

Anyway, back to the story. My mom was concerned as any mother would be at her child’s dismay and so saw fit to ask me what I couldn’t do. I replied through sobs “Life, being sick, how am I supposed to take a test that I haven’t studied for and can barely open my eyes to look at it. Life’s not fair and I can’t do this.”

In the midst of my tears I had an epiphany, or maybe God just spoke to me, I’m not sure which it was. Perhaps when we have an epiphany it is because God is speaking to us. I don’t claim to know seeing as how I am not clear on the matter. Either way the words were Charissa can’t, God can. In the midst of my blubbering; Charissa can’t, God can. Realizing that God is in control of our lives and we don’t have to be is such a liberating feeling.

So I dried my tears and took some more Tylenol in attempts to soothe my pains away. The Tylenol helped, but the true relief was knowing that God has my back and when I can’t do something that’s exactly the time that He steps in to cover me. Yeah, He’s pretty much amazing!

Have you had some times in your life when you simply couldn’t go on or weren’t capable of doing what was asked of you and God stepped in to show Himself faithful?

Day 4

So this is Wednesday. . . I began the throwing up, head aches, body aches, chills, fever, and general discomfort on Sunday. Here I am three days later and I still feel just as bad if not worse than day one. I had a test today. . . a BIG one. But I should back up a little and tell more of the story leading to the test.

Since I was a young tot, reading and studying has always made me feel kind of ill. Maybe just because I've never liked it, but I really think it is physiological. I've known about this test for a few days now and I just kept thinking 'I'll be well tomorrow, then I can study.' I'd been thinking that for a few days and then it hit me last night while I was laying on my couch. . . I don't have a tomorrow to study. I must study now. So I pulled out my trusty computer and began looking over my notes.

Have you ever had one of those head aches when you honestly feel like there must be a knife stabbed in through your skull into your brain, you just can't see it. Well I have.

As I was studying I began to feel as if there was a bomb in my head and it was counting down to explosion. Every pounding sensation I felt was one tick closer to detonation. I simply couldn't go on anymore. I knew that I had to stop. So I did. I quit studying.

I figured that going to bed and sleeping would bring me relief but it was to no avail. The pain was too much to handle. So I cut off my head. . . OK, I didn't but I wanted to. As I was in my bed my mom decided to come check on me. She came in my room and said, "How are you doin' sweetie?" the words weren't life changing but they brought about a flood of tears. Followed by "I can't do this, I can't do this."

Tune in tomorrow for the answer to the question in your head. . . 'WHY?' and for the ever important conclusion of what I learned.

Resurrection

I’ve been taking really good care of my “pet” today. Mainly because I absolutely hate nothingness, I can’t stand that feeling of being absolutely useless. I let my “pet” die, but I am trying to resurrect it today. And you guys thought I was going to be talking about the resurrection of Christ. (grins to self)

I’ve been pondering random things these past few days:

· Passion – what it is and how we lose it

· Decisions – big ones in life and the ways different people go about making them

· Personality – traits that I am immediately drawn to and others that I am repulsed by

· Friends – how come it is so difficult to find real ones and why does life have to change when you finally do

· Family – they are always there for me, even when I think I’ve done enough to make them stop

· Romantic Relationships – the lack of (BOO)

· School – why is it necessary again

What are your thoughts on what I’ve been pondering? Insightful comments? What do you find yourself thinking about?

Another Quote Worth Note

I’ve been reading more from Spiritual Leadership by J. Oswald Sanders. Quotes as astounding as this one do not need to coincide with heavy-handed words so I will keep this particular blog brief.

“Pessimism and leadership are at opposite ends of life’s attitudes. . . God’s ideal servant is optimistic until every part of God’s work is done.”

I Picked Up a Book Today

I’ve taken the opportunity while sick to catch up on some reading. I’ve been reading several different books but I chose to pick up Spiritual Leadership by J. Oswald Sanders today. My dad read it a while ago and has been trying to get me to read it for some time now; he says it will change my life.

I came across a passage in the book that I found to be truly profound. “True Leaders must be willing to suffer for the sake of objectives great enough to demand their wholehearted obedience.” Wholehearted obedience, what a concept, that means obeying with every portion of your mind, heart, will, and body. I generally obey God, but I don’t always want to. Sometimes it is simply because I know what the right thing to do is and I am doing it to be pleasing to Him. That is NOT wholehearted obedience.

So I began to wonder, ‘how can I wholeheartedly obey?’ This is a question that I haven’t quite found an absolute answer to yet. I know that by searching out God’s character more I will be more likely to follow His word without the thoughts of ‘man I really wish that I didn’t have to do this’. But it seems harder getting there than just that.

A quote from a little later in the book say, “People travel together; no one lives detached and alone.” So I am asking you all for your insight, I don’t want to walk alone. Help me out. What makes it easier for you to wholeheartedly obey?

There is more to come from this book as I get a chance to read and ponder it.

Sickness strikes...

It seems that when life is so crazy that I cannot handle anything extra I have to become sick. I can just picture the little germs now sitting there laughing, saying "Hahaha, you think you can get away from us but you can't. And oh yeah, by the way... you're going to be sick tomorrow."

Just when I think that I have a handle on things and am a little ahead of the game, I have to get sick. But not just me, everyone in the whole world (well my little world) so no one can nurse me to health again. Being sick is seriously uncool! But I am just trying to take this time to get some MUCH needed rest. Maybe God allowed me to get sick because He knew that I simply couldn't handle anymore.